Tumbleweed was wearing a blue belt instead of his purple belt during the advanced class on Wednesday, and while we were drilling I asked him if that meant I should take my blue belt off and wear a white one, and although I was just joking, I do carry my white belt in my gym bag at all times, to remind me of how far I’ve come from where I started. Back then, I couldn’t physically perform many of the techniques, it would take everything I had just to keep up in class, and I wasn’t really a threat to anyone on the mat, they could all easily handle me, so some of them barely bothered to try, but it hasn’t been that way for a long time. I feel like somewhere along my journey I went from wanting to be a real grappler to actually being one, but the change was so gradual, I almost didn’t notice.
Once in awhile I’m reminded of how lucky I am to even train Jiu-Jitsu, because it’s not something everyone is able to do. Right before I went to class on Wednesday, I found out that an injury may effectively end one of my BJJ friend’s training, and my heart went out to her, because I know she loves grappling as much as I do, so while I was in class that night, I tried to appreciate every moment, and not take any of it for granted.
As a result, I had even more fun training than normal, because I imagined how I would feel if I could never do it again, and the best word I could come up with is “crushed”. At times I get too caught up in worrying about my performance, but if I only focus on grappling, then I never have a bad roll, because I enjoy every one of them (except maybe rolling with stinky gi guy, but that’s still honestly better than nothing ;).
BJJ- Some days you’re the baseball bat, some days you’re the printer.