In my experience, training Jiu-Jitsu is kind of like looking into a mirror that shows you an unfiltered view of your entire self. You can’t pretend BJJ, it breaks down your walls and exposes your weaknesses, which I believe is one of the reasons that some people don’t last, because they don’t want to keep facing their inadequacies and issues, but that’s really the only way to fix them.
Throughout my training, it’s often seemed like I wasn’t improving in Jiu-Jitsu, but when I think about the personal demons that I’ve conquered in order to get where I am now, I can’t help but feel a great sense of accomplishment. If the grappler I am today rolled with the person I used to be, I’m sure it would be really easy to see how much better I’ve become, and it goes much deeper than just technical ability.
I started to get down on myself this week, because I was feeling extremely disappointed with my performance in the advanced classes, but then I thought about the fact that Jiu-Jitsu also reveals your strengths, and one of mine is to get back up every single time I fall. No matter how difficult the struggle is at times, I’ve been consistently doing this for over seven years, and so far, I’ve never given up.
The more it feels like BJJ is going to break me, the harder I fight, because the battle is truly with myself. Some days it seems like the best I can hope for in Jiu-Jitsu is just to survive, but that’s more than the average person can do.
“…Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise…” -Maya Angelou