Hungry Heart

"Wanting something is not enough. You must hunger for it. Your motivation must be absolutely compelling in order to overcome the obstacles that will invariably come your way." - Les BrownWhen I first started training Jiu-Jitsu, sometimes I would drive to the dojo and sit outside in my Jeep, trying to work up the nerve to go inside, and most of the time I succeeded, but once in awhile I would end up driving back home, where I would proceed to beat myself up for not having the courage to attend class that day. I’m not even sure how I managed to not quit in those early times, but now whenever I’m having difficulty finding the motivation to train, I just remind myself that Jiu-Jitsu will never again be as hard for me as it was back then.

I’ve been feeling tired this week, so not only was I unmotivated to go to the advanced gi classes (but I did), I also wanted to drop out of rolling (but I didn’t). I had to dig deep to make it through the classes on Monday and Wednesday, but surprisingly, I ended up having a couple of my better days in sparring. Maybe it was because I was too tired to overthink, but I felt like things were clicking for me.

Even if my performance had totally stunk, it would’ve still been better than driving home in fear and not training at all (like I used to do), so through all my struggles, my motivation may sometimes waver, but my dedication never has. When I began my Jiu-Jitsu journey, I thought it would just be temporary (until I felt “comfortable” on the ground, but one thing I’ve learned in BJJ is that if you’re comfortable, you’re probably doing it wrong ;), yet seven years later, my appetite for grappling seems to know no end.

“Like a river that don’t know where it’s flowing, I took a wrong turn and I just kept going.” -Bruce Springsteen

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2 comments on “Hungry Heart

  1. Reminded me of something my coach said to me (well about me to another new girl while I was standing there) – he talked about my progress since I started a few months ago and how he threw me into a competition after I had only attended two classes (he’s basically trying to convince her to do similar atm except that by then she’ll at least have a few weeks under her belt).
    He said that after that day I know even if I don’t come out on top I’m happy knowing that I’ll never have as bad a jiu jitsu day as I did that day. (Well… personally I feel this past Saturday was pretty bad, but he reckons that is only a close second… but that’s a whole ‘nother story :P ) …It also gives me no excuse not to enter in the competition in October… It’s like he planned this all along… LOL

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