Kids say the darnedest things

The doctor said it's cooties...During the kids’ class at Lincoln BJJ on Monday, there was a small spot of sweat on the mat, and a couple of the boys were trying to move away from it, so I told them to not worry about it because it was just sweat, and one of the girls said “It’s liquid cooties!”. Well then, after the advanced class that night, I guess I was covered in the liquid cooties of about five different people, and I didn’t have the required circle, circle, dot, dots to protect me, so I’ve probably been infected! I wonder, do those shots also work against the ringworm cooties?

When Ido Pariente was teaching his seminar at LBJJC, during the practice he would ask if we had questions, but he told us not to ask any “if questions”, unless they pertained specifically to what we were doing, and I understood his directive, because I’ve been in many classes where time was wasted by too many irrelevant questions, but the kids are really the masters of it, and I believe the boy on Monday was actually being serious when he asked Professor Greg how he would do the technique if his opponent didn’t have any feet. To Greg’s credit, he answered the question as if it was a real concern, and since the other kids thought it was funny, it opened the floodgates to some of the silliest ” if questions” ever asked. What if they don’t have a head? What if they’re in a tank? What if they’re a ghost? What if they parachute from a plane and land on top of you?

Kids have great imaginations, and I laugh a lot when I’m working with them, because they come up with funny names for techniques (like “neon belly” and “hippo sweep”), and they ask me questions like “Is there any killing in Jiu-Jitsu?”. They also keep me very humble by not being the least bit impressed by my blue belt, and reminding me that for adults, a blue belt is just the first belt after white. However, when a couple of the students found out I have a black belt in Karate, they acted like they’d just been told that I have super powers! Which I obviously do, but I don’t like to brag about it.

Since I’m easily amused, other people might not find the kids to be as hilarious as I do, but helping out in the kids’ class always brings me joy. It’s a balance between having fun, but still learning, which is why I think LBJJC has done such a good job of retaining students, and in a just few years, some of those kids are going to be in the adult class kicking our butts! As long as they don’t perish from the cooties before then.


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