So, we were doing king of the mat in the advanced class last night, and I kept going up against the same two people, so when it was my turn and Josh came open again, I told Mike to go out instead, so we could mix it up. There were two sets rolling at the same time, and I went against Conan. About thirty seconds later, I heard Mike holler in pain, and I didn’t realize it was serious until Conan, who was apparently channeling his inner superhero, was like “Get off me, woman, I must answer this call for help!”.
Mike had dislocated his middle finger. It was bent sideways at the center knuckle, and he was obviously in pain, but I don’t think he really started freaking out until Greg told him they were going to the emergency room, and then he yelled “It’s going to be so fucking expensive!”, so Conan (in true superhero fashion) asked Mike if wanted him to try and reset the finger, which he did quickly and effectively, to everyone’s relief, especially Mike’s.
After that, when I went against Josh, I asked him if he was going to break my finger, and I’m afraid he might’ve felt bad about it, but I was totally joking. It was an accident (Mike said his finger got caught in Josh’s gi), and it wasn’t Josh’s fault. No, it was actually my fault, because Mike shouldn’t have even been rolling with Josh at the time, it should’ve been me!
It was just another day in BJJ, people dislocating body parts, and other people putting them back in place. After witnessing Mike’s gnarly finger and subsequent resetting, I can’t even remember most of what else happened during king of the mat yesterday! I do remember being complimented by The Professor when I went against Headgear (although he ended up passing my guard), and I recall passing to top half against Roast Beef, then remaining there much longer than normal (but I eventually lost the underhook and got swept).
I actually remember my rolls from Monday better than from yesterday, but that might be because Jerad intentionally made our five minute roll feel like it lasted a half hour! Mike also kicked my ass even more than normal on Monday, and he might’ve still been in competition mode from the IBJJF Open last weekend, but I suppose he won’t be kicking anyone’s ass for the next couple of weeks, while his finger heals. See, that’s what you get when you mess with me, I will send you out to roll in my place, and then I will telepathically order your partner (or your partners gi) to dislocate your finger! Jerad better watch out, because he might get bent next.
(Disclaimer: I do not actually possess any mind (or gi) controlling powers, nor do I know any kind of subliminal submissions, so if Jerad’s fingers, or other body parts, happen to become dislocated anytime in the future, I swear I had nothing to do with it!)