respect: verb; admire someone deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
During the advanced class at Lincoln BJJ Center last night, the sorcerer (Greg) and his apprentice (Jerad) told me to not “respect them too much” when we’re rolling, and I’ve been trying to wrap my brain around exactly what that means. I think another way to put it is “don’t be intimidated”, especially since Greg said I sometimes have a tendency to curl up in the fetal position.
Although I don’t consciously feel intimidated by anyone, perhaps when I roll with certain people, my subconscious thinks it’s hopeless. Deep down, I don’t really believe I can beat the sorcerer and his apprentice (or pretty much any of the colored belts), so most of the time, I don’t even try, I just struggle to survive (and sometimes I give up and curl into a ball!). I think one of the reasons I’m less aggressive than I used to be is because back then I didn’t know how much I didn’t know. Now I’m more cautious, but maybe being submitted 10,000 times can do that to a person!
I’ve already been working on being more aggressive lately, but that’s been mostly with the white belts (and my husband). I guess it’s time to stop respecting my elders so much, and unleash the beast on them! What’s the worst that could happen, I’ll fail and they’ll submit me? They already do that anyway…every day, every way. So, I may as well go out fighting!
“I get tired (just a little bit). Keep on tryin’ (just a little bit)” -Aretha Franklin
Jerad: “Just pretend I’m the girl you competed against at the last tournament.”
Me: “Yeah well, she pretty much beat me.”
Jerad: “So, don’t you want to get her back?”