I dream of a day in Jiu-Jitsu where so many people want to roll with me that I have to make them each take a number and wait their turn! I’m sure that day will never come, so I would settle for anyone (except the same few people) asking me to roll.
Thankfully I don’t have to worry about it most of the time at Lincoln BJJ Center, because Greg assigns our rolls during class. It takes a lot of pressure off of me, and I don’t have to stress about asking someone who might not want to roll with me (although they still have ways of letting me know they don’t want to, such as avoiding me during king of the mat whenever The Professor isn’t looking!).
That’s the main reason I don’t go to open mat on Saturdays at LBJJC as often as I would like. Back at the dojo our rolls were never assigned, and there were many times where I was too shy to ask anyone to roll, and no one asked me, so I ended up not rolling at all. It sure didn’t give me any more confidence to ask people, and I still have a complex because of it! Once bitten, twice shy. It seems like such a small thing, but it’s very difficult for me to do, so now it’s just easier to skip open mat and let Greg choose who I roll with during regular class instead.
I know I need to get over this, and I have been doing a better job lately at approaching people on the rare occasions when I do drag myself to Saturday open mat. There are a few awesome people who I can always count on to ask me to roll (especially Conan and Josh C., thanks bros!), but I feel like most people don’t want to grapple with me, maybe because they think I suck. It’s guess it’s possible they might think I don’t want to roll with them, but beggars can’t be choosers, so I’ve always been happy to roll with anyone who asks, and if I’m on the mat, that means I want to roll! Perhaps the real reason some people don’t ask is just because they are super afraid of me (and I can’t really say as though I blame them! ;).
“So shy, so shy, so shy, so shy.” -Ian Hunter