Yesterday was Throwing Sunday in women’s Jiu-Jitsu. Our newest student Kori couldn’t make it, so Amy had my husband Joe and I take turns throwing each other. As soon as Amy said what we were going to do, I began a litany of “No! No! No!”, which I will admit did nothing to help my mental state.
I’ve never been fond of throwing, but it became even worse after I broke my wrist while being thrown last year. Now I really over-think everything, which makes it hard to relax. I have just as great a fear of throwing someone as I do of being thrown (actually, even more so), and sometimes I freeze up. This has led to me not committing to my throws, sweeps, and takedowns, and then they don’t work.
Amy and Ray (who was watching from another class and offering assistance, thanks Ray!), both noticed that I was not setting my feet well, and I was moving around too much, which caused Amy to declare “This is Jiu-Jitsu, not dance class!”. I think my dancing can also be blamed on my fear of commitment; I start, then stop, then start again.
One of the Daitoryu students asked where “Crazy Gina” was, because I was not being my usual aggressive self. I don’t know, I guess she just doesn’t want to do takedowns anymore, and all “Regular Gina” seem to want to do is dance. Dancing is a lot less dangerous than throwing, and I’m better at it!
I felt as though I was doing okay by the end of class, when Amy was making me throw Joe as soon as I touched him. There was less of a chance to over-think and stop myself. I know I can throw, I’ve even pulled some off in competition, so I don’t know why I still have such a hard time relaxing when I practice throwing.
It’s difficult to be successful at anything if you don’t commit to it. As much as I dislike throwing, it is something that I want to get better at, so I keep practicing it. However I think I need to change my attitude, and the next time Amy says it’s Throwing Sunday, I’m going to have to say “Yes!”, and mean it.