Our teacher Amy said the reason might be because I am empathetic, and since I was broken I am now afraid of breaking someone, more than I am afraid of being broken again myself. There might be some truth to that, especially concerning yesterday’s class, because the person I was throwing the entire time was my own daughter. In women’s Jiu-Jitsu, we always practice our throws by landing on our partner, which can be pretty scary. Skyler falling on my arm is what really broke my wrist (although if I hadn’t posted, it wouldn’t have happened, so it was all my fault), and since then she has also developed a fear of throwing, especially of throwing me.
Amy knew neither one of us wanted to throw yesterday, but we showed up, and we worked through the fear. Skyler and I both threw each other about forty times, and no one was broken or hurt in any significant way. Except for my feelings, when Amy told me that I should have someone film our next throwing class, so I can see how ridiculous I look trying to do Soto Makikomi! Yeah well, who taught me how to do it, Amy? :p
I think this throwing class went a long way toward alleviating our fears, and I’m glad we finally got it over with. I still won’t be looking forward to the next one, but when have I ever? At least I’m not completely dreading it anymore. For all of our fears and comical errors, Skyler and I pulled off some nice throws yesterday, so there is hope for us yet. One Throwing Sunday at a time.