We had a mock Jiu-Jitsu tournament at the dojo yesterday, to work out any bugs in our bracketing software before the State Games this year. Instead of actual competitors, Amy and Dave just entered random names into the computer, then we ran it as if the matches were actually happening. We had two laptops awarding points and advantages, determining the winners, then sending the info back to the main computer. Luckily, everything seemed to be working really well.

Angelina Jolie

As far as the matches went, Angelina Jolie was the clear front-runner of the day. She won all of her matches by submission within about twenty seconds. No points were scored on either side, because Angie don’t play for points! A couple of times her competitors just submitted to her on sight. She won her final match against Katniss Everdeen with a flying triangle in under ten seconds.

On the men’s side, Angie’s old man, Brad Pitt, also did extremely well. He averaged about forty points per match, and he was awarded several advantages simply for being hot. Personally, I thought Elmer Fudd got a raw deal in their match because Brad was clearly above his weight class, but the little guy held his own (although I did get tired of hearing him complain that it was “unfaiw”, and that he would have won if he could have used “buwwets”). Brad’s strongest competition was George of the Jungle, but he was still a little woozy from running into a tree on the way to the tournament, so Brad emerged victorious.

I would have liked to have seen an absolute match between Angelina and Brad, but Brad declined, saying “Are you kidding me?! Even Chuck Norris knows better than to fight Angie!”. Mr. Pitt is pretty smart for such a good-looking guy! After the competition ended, we all hopped in Dr. Who’s TARDIS and went back in time to the beginning of the mock tournament, just so we could do it all over again! Good times.

By Gina Ethridge Posted in Fun Tagged

4 comments on “Angie

  1. Have you seen any photos of Angelina lately? That chick is **WAY** too anorexic to do martial arts. If I breathed hard on her forearm, it would snap like a twig.

  2. Lol! I was imagining Angelina and Brad in their prime…At our next mock tournament, I will personally guarantee a SavageKitsune vs. Angelina death match! The Fox will huff and puff and blow Angie down :D

  3. It drives me nuts when anorexic movie stars say, "I do martial arts!" If you weigh 82 lb, you do not do martial arts (unless you are three feet tall). If you do martial arts, you have muscles.

  4. While we're on the subject, I don't like the fact that Rihanna says she keeps in shape with martial arts training, including karate, tae kwon do and kung fu. I'm sorry, but women who know martial arts do not let Chris Brown beat them up!

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