After fifty days off, I’m finally going back to Jiu-Jitsu class tomorrow. My wrist is far from healed, so I’ll be limited in what I can do, but it’s high time I got back on the horse. I expected be a lot more excited about the prospect, but I’m actually quite nervous. I’m not worried about the injury, just about returning in general. I almost feel like I’m starting all over. I’m not afraid to get back in the saddle, but I can tell I’ve lost some of my jockey skills, and it will be awhile before I regain them.
Not to mention that it already seemed like half of the guys in Jiu-Jitsu were afraid to touch me for fear that I would break, and then just when I almost had them convinced that I wouldn’t, I actually had to go and break myself. Now I think they will probably actively avoid me. I also feel like I’m not going to be able to continue moving forward, or even return to the level where I was, until I can grapple again. It would probably be helpful if I could find someone who would be willing to just drill with me, but I hate to ask anyone to give up their open mat time for that.
I suppose what it really comes down to is that I want to be riding a racehorse, but I know I will have to start with being led around on a pony for a little while. It’s bad enough that I have to take it easy, and I don’t want to slow down whoever is stuck holding the leash.
Get back in the saddle, swallow all of your pride
Cause if you can’t take the fall, you shouldn’t take the ride.”