Asking for it

Conan’s post on The Jiu-Jitsu fighter yesterday, “Mentoring”, made me think about something that’s been on my mind for a little while. All of my Jiu-Jitsu seniors have helped me along the way, but I think it’s human nature to seek to develop personal mentoring relationships, and they usually happen naturally. These types of one-on-one connections are beneficial to both the junior and the senior.

I am very fortunate to be able to call Conan and Amy my Jiu-Jitsu mentors, but I don’t feel like I have really developed that kind of relationship with any of the students. I don’t want to always be going to the head teachers for help, and they aren’t always available.

So for awhile now, I have been wanting to ask one of the seniors in Jiu-Jitsu to be my “big brother”. I know exactly who I want it to be. He has already shown that he takes an interest in my training, and he often helps me. I want him to mentor me because I feel like it would be a good fit for both of us. I enjoy his straight-forward approach, and I respond well to it. He tells me exactly what I need (not want) to hear. The problem is, I think I may be giving him the impression that I’m not interested in his help, because I have a hard time approaching him, even when he’s completely available. Sorry bro, I just suck at expressing myself in person. I really do want to work with you.

I don’t think he reads my blog, or knows anything about the way I feel. Should I tell him? What if he doesn’t want to spend his time on me? Would asking him for help be too much pressure, would he feel obligated to oblige? Is it stupid to even think that I have to ask him to be my mentor? It might be more that I just want to let him know that I already consider him to be one.

Roseberry's & Hollowpoint
The mystery mentor is in this picture.  Guess who it is and win a prize! (Disclaimer: I lied, there is no prize.)

11 comments on “Asking for it

  1. I guess Jared, from one of your previous posts where he snuck up on you. Otherwise I would guess Ken.I consider David a mentor to me as well but I don't see him in the picture. These three have been huge in my progress mostly because they are present in most of the classes I attend and they kick my butt on a regular basis.Part of your post made me think of highschool dating, which is probably what you were going for.

  2. Lol, Kitsune! Now why didn't I think of that?!! :-)Sorry Josh, no prize for you. I do consider Ken to be a mentor (in Jiu-Jitsu and Karate) but I think he already knows that. I usually don't get much time to work with him in Jitsu, though. Jerad and David terrify me ;)

  3. And who do you think taught her how to break people, Ken? I just didn't expect her to use it on ME!True story: That actually happened on Skyler's birthday :/

  4. Maybe you don't have to formally ask him. What I do a lot of times is hang out after class and ask one of the guys for help on something specific. They are almost always willing to spend some time helping me out and I am sure your teammates would do the same.

  5. That sounds like the best way to try to approach him, and I'm almost positive he would be glad to help me. As soon as I get back I'm going to give it a try. Thanks, Allie!

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