I’ve had too much time to think lately. Thinking and thinking (not doing), just thinking. Of course, a lot of that thinking has been about Jiu-Jitsu. Now after days and weeks (going on months) of nothing but thinking, I guess I’ve run out of practical Jiu-Jitsu things to think about, so I’ve started to contemplate pointless topics such as “I wonder what would happen if I grappled with some of my Karate Sensei!” Submissions are a part of our Karate curriculum, and most of these people have also trained Judo.
JP (Captain America)- He probably can’t grapple because he has a bad back (from being a National Champion Husker Blackshirt). Otherwise, he would submit me rather quickly, but ever so kindly. Which I would actually prefer to sparring with him, and seeing his giant fist (which I’m positive is as large as my head) coming at me. It gives me nightmares…fe fi fo fum!
BS (Iron Man)- Skins vs. Shirts! Oh, he would definitely submit me, and it would be very painful, and he would thoroughly enjoy it. Of course, if it did happen the other way around, he wouldn’t mind that, either. Before he tapped me out, he would probably pinch me really hard on the underside of the arm, or the inside of the thigh, and he’d also tweak some pressure points, just for fun.
BG1 (Professor X)- Although I believe he is absolutely capable of submitting me, I don’t think he would, at least not right away. I imagine he would be more of a defensive grappler, calm and patient, and he would prefer to just flow. He’d be a soul roller, Zen X.
TV (Superman)- Well, he is The Man of Steel. However, I don’t think he’s ever really done any grappling, so maybe Jiu-Jitsu is his kryptonite! Even so, he’s as big as Treebeard, so the smart bet is on the side of Truth, Justice, and the American way.
ES (Flash)- This match is unlikely to happen, because he prefers a six-foot space between himself and his opponent. I can’t get anywhere near him without getting kicked in the head, and it happens faster than the human eye can detect! Otherwise, if I could actually get close, I think I could beat him.
BG2 (Billy Jack)- I’ve grappled with him before, and I almost submitted him the last time (which was over a year ago) so I got this one. Ya hearrrd me! I don’t care how many people he choked when he was with the LPD! He likes to tell stories about how he once choked me out, but he neglects to mention that I let him. Try, try as hard as you can, you can’t choke ME, Mr. Fireman.
KH (Batman)- I roll with him all the time, so I can tell you exactly how it will go…I will repeatedly try to submit him, and he will laugh defiantly, which will only make me want to submit him even more. Then I will get tired, become frustrated, give up, and sulk off to plot new plans of attack. Someday I will rise from the ashes, and I will finish him!