Missing You

The Latvian Goddess

Around six months ago I wrote a post “SOB”, giving a hard time to one of my dojo brothers who had joked to me that he didn’t want to read about it on my blog if I tapped him out.  Now he doesn’t come around jiu-jitsu class much anymore, and although I suspect he’s just trying to avoid being submitted by me, he insists that’s not the case!

Seriously, that is one thing I don’t like about martial arts training.  There are so many people whose company I have enjoyed in the dojo who I don’t get to see anymore.  They all have their own personal reasons for leaving.  Some of them move away (Karin, Frank), some of them have physical obstacles (Harvey, Lane), others may decide another school is a better fit for them, or stop training altogether.  Whatever their reasons, I miss them.


I’ve only been around the dojo for a little over six years, but I have seen hundreds of people come and go.  Now I understand why when I first started Karate most of the seniors didn’t really bother to learn my name for the first six months to a year.  Shihan just called me “mom” for the longest time. I’m sure in their many decades of training, they have learned to wait to seriously invest in you until they’re pretty sure you’re going to stick around for a little while.

Although I do still try to learn all the new student’s names, it’s not on their first day, or even their first month anymore.  I’ve now gotten into the habit of giving the newbies generic nicknames at first…”the kid with the hair in the face”, “tall dude”, “blonde lady”.  It’s not until I get to know them a little bit better that I give them real nicknames…”SOB”, “The Latvian Goddess”, “Coconut”, “Syren”.  Then it’s easier on me when they leave.

“Since you’ve been away,
I’ve been down and lonely
Since you’ve been away,
I’ve been thinking of you
Trying to understand the reason you left me
What were you going through?
Ooh ooh, I’m missing you. Tell me why the road turns.” 
-Diana Ross

4 comments on “Missing You

  1. One of my instructors was notorious for not really bothering to spend much time chatting with the lower belt students. At the time I was one, I found it intimidating, and a little rude. But you're absolutely right – the longer I train the more I understand that a lot of people come and go, and you sort of have to account for that. I always wonder if they really know what they're losing though!

  2. Lol, I ♥ that nickname! I haven't rolled with anyone for a couple weeks because my knee still hates me, but I miss you, too. I do plan on being there tomorrow, so I'll choke you if I see you…or should I say TRY to choke you, after all, your nickname is Unchokable :)

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