The other day I was watching my grappling competition videos and analyzing the strengths and weaknesses in my game, when it suddenly dawned on me…OMG, I HAVE A GAME! For the longest time I really felt like I was hopeless, and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t seem to figure out what I was doing wrong. It felt like I just wasn’t getting it. Then it got to the point where it seemed like my brain was starting to figure things out, but my body was lagging behind. It would not listen to me, and it was in charge when I grappled.
Now I finally feel like things are starting to come together. As my knowledge grows, I am better able to see things, and understand how they work. I’m starting to pick up on some of the details that have long eluded me. Little by little I have come to the point where I know what works for me and what doesn’t, and why. As I build muscle memory, I can feel the things that I used to miss, so now my body is finally starting to get with the program. About a year ago, Aaron wrote a post on The Jiu-Jitsu Fighter “If I Only Knew Then What I Know Now” where he talked about realizing how far we have come. He said he felt like he was learning things at a greater rate, and it was like he had swapped out his 4 Gig brain for an 80 Gig. When I first read it, I thought that would never happen for me, that I would always struggle to understand even the simplest things. I was wrong. I finally feel like I have some kind of foundation from which to build. My game might still be more like checkers than chess, but at least it’s a start.
If you are struggling, and you think that you are never going to be able to understand everything the way you would like, don’t give up hope. As long as you keep trying, you are bound to improve. It takes time to build a foundation, and there are a lot of pieces to put together before it is solid. If you’re like me it might take a couple of years to get the first floor built, but from there the sky is the limit.