I’m not sad because it’s my birthday and I’m old, I’m sad because I went to two jiu-jitsu classes today and I barely got to grapple. Last year’s birthday was way better, last year I got to do this on my birthday! Best birthday ever! Today the only person I grappled with was my husband. In case you have never rolled with Joe, let me describe it to you…it’s like an endless scramble where nothing you have ever learned about positioning comes into play. It’s just complete chaos, where you have no way of knowing what is going to happen next. You frequently lose track of which way is up or down, and your entire body is in constant danger. I imagine it’s a bit like how it feels to be sucked into a black hole. But maybe that’s just how it is for me.
When I finally succeeded in mounting him today, I yelled “Yes, I got you now!” Do you know what he did next? He tried to buck me off, and grabbed each of my wrists when I posted. Then he put his feet on my biceps (stupid high mount, I should have grapevined). I called out for help because I had no idea what to do, and Conan came over and asked Joe where he had learned that. He said “Nowhere”. No one taught it to him, he’s never seen anyone do it, he’s never watched a video of it, he just figured it out on his own at that moment. Not fair!
So then he pushed me over, and I still don’t really understand how it happened, but we ended up in sort of a north-south position, except I was face down, and then he lifted up my legs, which it turns out causes excruciating pain! Conan called it a Boston Crab, but Joe called it a Backbreaker, which is a very fitting name.I’m beginning to think that the origins of Joe-Jitsu can be traced back to George “The Animal” Steele and Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat. He’s already warned me that I should start learning how to defend against a figure four leglock. Perhaps it’s time to amend the “all submissions are legal in Ethridge grapples” policy. Especially if it’s my birthday! Grrrrrr!