There are things about blogging that I didn’t consider before I started. For example, when I was in another state at the KC Grappling Challenge and I saw one of my competitors, I said “Hi, I’m Gina”, and she said “I know, I read your blog.” My first thought was “Oh man, I should be writing under a pseudonym.” I don’t want my competition to read all about how much I think I suck! Believe it or not, I’m actually an introvert, and I’m still uncomfortable with the thought of people knowing things about me. I’m supposed to be a ninja, a silent assassin! I would rather be an anonymous stranger when I compete, but I guess it’s too late for that.
I’m sure she found my blog by searching my name after I signed up for the tourney. I always Google my opponents. I can usually find some basic info about them, and sometimes I’m even able to find videos. I like to know what I’m up against, and I try to find a weakness. I believe many people want to size up their competition, and come up with a game plan.
So far I don’t think it’s really done me any good. My husband even thinks that it’s harmful, because I sometimes allow the info I find out to mess with my head. I would probably be in a much better mental state if I didn’t know anything about my competition, and just showed up and fought whoever was in front of me. I would be better off without a plan at all.
On the other end of it, I think the reason some of my competitors jump guard on me immediately might be because they see from my videos that I have a tiny bit of throwing skill. I thought that watching my videos and reading my blog might make my competition underestimate me (since I am freaking old, and I lose a lot) but it seems to have the opposite effect. Hey, just because I love jiu-jitsu and I write about it, that doesn’t mean I’m any good at it!
The bottom line is that I am just a woman who loves martial arts and wants to share my passion and hopefully inspire people. If that means that from now on all my opponents will know who I am before we meet, so be it. Even though I am still not entirely comfortable with the idea of being known, it’s worth trading my anonymity to build a bigger female jiu-jitsu community. Or maybe an army of silent ninja women assassins. I guess men too, that’s cool.