I guess it’s a good thing that I’m okay with losing, because I seem to be pretty good at it. I think it’s obvious that I am competing for the learning and growth, and not for the win and the glory, because I keep losing, yet I still keep competing. I’m doing it to get better, not to prove how great I already am. I’m doing it to represent and inspire women in jiu-jitsu, not to gain some kind of personal validation.
It’s still a hard thing to continually bear. It’s difficult to not get down on yourself after suffering repeated losses. It isn’t easy to not let it get to you, to not let a loss define you. It would be easy to give up, to stop competing, and therefore stop getting my ego kicked in the face all the time. But I will not quit, I will not stop trying to improve, I will not let my losses stand in the way of my goals.
Just as you should not let your wins affect your ego, and go around thinking that you are The Shit, you should not let your losses make you think that you are shit. In both cases, you are not. There is always going to be someone who is better than you, and someone who is worse. On any given day and time you could be either one, and when it comes to your training, it doesn’t really matter which one you are. As long as the person you are really competing with is yourself, and you remember that the temporary thrill of victory is nothing compared to the long-term knowledge that you can gain from simply trying.
Winning is fun, but it’s not the most important thing you have to gain from competing, and it shouldn’t be your only benchmark of success. To compete and lose is a far more honorable and valuable thing than to not compete at all.