Mother Knows Best

I was under the impression that there wasn’t going to be an absolute women’s division at the tournament. By the time they decided there would be one, my coach had already left, and I had already changed and eaten. I was literally walking out the door when I found out. I struggled with the decision to enter. I really wanted to, especially since I’d only had one match.

Is it wrong that I was a little bit concerned, because I am an 115 pound, 41 year old mother with no health insurance? Is it wrong that I was worried, since I knew my elbow was already tweaked, and that my bad knee could flare up at any time? Is it wrong that I looked at the big girls half my age and thought “Is it worth taking the chance?”

She was comforted by the knowledge that they were helpless without herEven though a huge part of me wishes I would have entered, I think that would have been the wrong choice, because it would have been selfish. The other day my husband told me that I wasn’t allowed to die, because he didn’t think they could make it without me. Not that I would’ve died at the tournament, but my family can’t afford for me to get injured. My elbow is bad enough, it’s causing me to miss jiu-jitsu class right now.

The girl I fought, Nadia Nixon, also chose to not compete in absolute. She only weighed about 105 pounds, and her coaches advised her to not fight the bigger girls, because she couldn’t afford to get hurt. Her reason is quite different from mine, though, it’s because she is an MMA fighter.

So, even though I feel bad about not entering absolute, I know I did it for the right reasons. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to fight (I so did!), it wasn’t because I was tired (I wasn’t at all!), it wasn’t because I didn’t think I could win (I know I could’ve taken a couple of them!), it was because even though I love being a Jiu-Jitsu Fighter, I am first and foremost a wife and mother. I’m not afraid of getting hurt, I just really can’t afford to.


5 comments on “Mother Knows Best

  1. Nicely done! It is so hard to make the right decisions when it comes to Jiu-jitsu sometimes. Most times it just seems so harmless, but on the very off, very slight chance something went wrong… it would be horrible. And I had a similar thing happen at my first competition. They said no absolute, then after I'd changed and eaten they were like, oh wait yes there is. I didn't do it. I was super tired and drained from the stress of the competition, and didn't feel like grappling with a belly full of hot dog. Plus, I'd fought every girl there that day, even the 217 pound one! lol

  2. Thank you, Stephanie. If I had found out about absolute earlier, there is a chance I would have done it, but it's probably a good thing that I didn't, considering that my elbow is worse than I thought. It just sucks because I might not have had any problems at all, but you just never know.

  3. During an interview, I asked Ricardo de la Riva a while ago (hooray for name-dropping!) about small guys entering absolutes, because he had done it and won.To my surprise, his response was, basically, he's small, so he didn't normally do the absolute: they're risky. The only reason he did it that one time was because there was nobody in his weight division. So even though the one time he entered an absolute division he won it, he still didn't feel the need to step out of his weight division as long as there was somebody else in it.

  4. Ha, so I was right in not doing it! Seriously, we have a woman training with us who is smaller than I am, and she has won every absolute she has ever entered, but I know my skills aren't on par with hers, and I'm a lot older and don't heal as fast, so it just seems too risky to me most of the time. However, if I didn't have anyone in my division I would probably do it then, like Ricardo did :)

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