I have a problem. I’m afraid to ask people to roll. By nature I am very introverted, and I don’t really care to talk to anyone (in person, I’m better with communicating through the written word). Someday I might write about how martial arts is helping me to overcome that fear. I’ve come a long way, but I’m not completely over it yet. Plus, I am convinced that most people don’t want to grapple with me, maybe because they never ask me, so it’s hard to approach them. It makes me really sad that I have been in class a year and a half, and there are people who I have never rolled with. I always end up grappling with the same people because I am somewhat comfortable asking them. Then they usually stop coming to jiu-jitsu, and I have to start all over again.
I keep hoping it’s going to get easier, and it has a little bit, but every time I’m sitting on the side of the mat waiting for someone to ask me to roll, because I’m too much of a chicken to ask anyone, it’s demoralizing. I have even contemplated quitting jiu-jitsu because of it. I love jiu-jitsu, I love grappling, and I hate the fact that fear prevents me from doing it. I’ve just never been the type of person who’s comfortable approaching people.
Awhile back, one of the jiu-jitsu students at our dojo told me that others were probably afraid to ask me to roll as well, so I just have to do it. Good advice, but easier said than done. The longer I sit on the side of the mat waiting, the more the fear builds up, and the harder it is to ask anyone. I guess I need to take action at the beginning of open mat, instead of standing off to the side like a wallflower, hoping someone asks me to dance. From here on out, it’s going to be ladies choice.