Lately I’ve been going through a crisis of confidence that led me to write Slowly but Surely on the Jiu-Jitsu Fighter blog. In that post I talked about my frustration with my grappling performance, but that is only a small part of the problem. I’ve been feeling inadequate on a larger scale, and I’ve questioned why I’m even writing this blog. I am an expert on nothing, and all I have to give are my thoughts.
Then I got an email in response to that post that has given me reason to keep fighting my insecurities. It was from one of our former jiu-jitsu students, and he told me that I had helped him to better understand his failures. By sharing my fears and flaws I helped him come to terms with his own. There is no better gift than to know that something I said has made a difference in someone’s life. Now if he would only come back to class and continue the struggle with me.
So I plod on. Sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing or why I’m doing it, but that’s okay. A lot of people seem to see martial arts as a hobby, a part-time diversion from life. To me, it is life. As long as I still breathe I will pursue this quest, and I will keep sharing my thoughts along the way. My only hope is that I can continue to inspire in the same way others have inspired me.
I’ll end with yet another great quote courtesy of Nok Su Kow…